Side Eye Dentis kid

To me, there’s almost nothing I’d rather do than go to the dentist. Metal in your teeth, scraping, water guns shooting down your throat…and that’s only if nothing is wrong.

This kid knows what’s up. What are you doing there, Dr. Death? Can you see or do your glasses need to be bigger?


But in my family, I’m the minority. The dentist is a treat – something that everyone else is excited about. So why has it been so hard for us to find a dentist fot the girls? This must be “one of those things” that other parents don’t warn you about. Either that or my husband and I just suck at picking a dentist for the girls. We’ve been to THREE different places so far and although they’re all fine, none of them were awesome.

Look, I get it. This is definitely “first world problems” territory – the care we’ve received has been good. Nobody has done any permanent damage, at least that we can tell. It’s just that, if we’re going to be paying through-the-nose for our kids teeth (insurance covers essentially NOTHING), then I at least want someone who can knock it out of the park. I’m thinking the Patch Adams of Pediatric Dental here. Don’t just be a good dentist, be a GREAT dentist, have a fun office, a fun staff and nice equipment. Really, that shouldn’t be too much to ask.

The first place we went to was like walking in to a bank. It was quiet, grey and even I was bored being there. Natalie, who was 2 at the time, is one of the most well behaved kids I know (yes I’m biased) but she was looking for something to stick in a light socket or knock over just to liven the place up. We didn’t go back.

The second place we tried came highly recommended by a few people. The location was great and when we got there, the office staff seemed really promising. The dentist was nice and explained what he was doing to us – but not the girls. That kind of caught us the wrong way – “Hey doc, the kid down there? She’s your patient. Try talking to her.” Then, the super nice front desk lady gave us extra tokens for their little toy machine. How can you complain about that? You might ask. Well, think of a giant gumball machine filled with tiny, useless toys that you’ll be stepping on from here to eternity. And the girls had SIX TOKENS EACH! I was picking fake mustaches off of my foot for a year. The FINAL straw, however, was when we were packing the girls and their 2,000 little toys in to the car – the super nice LOUD front desk lady then calls us BACK in so they could get another toy from the machine. Have you ever packed two kids under 5 in to a car after getting through a slightly anxiety ridden situation? Do you know exactly what you DON’T want to do after getting them in to the car? You don’t want to TAKE THEM OUT OF THE CAR TO GET ANOTHER FREAKING BOUNCY BALL.

So anyway, that place keeps calling to schedule checkups for the girls. I just don’t call them back. I don’t like confrontation.

This last place we tried was the best experience so far. Nice, professional front desk and office, the dental hygienist was nice, equipment was new and clean, the dentist was great….but then, she pulled THIS out:

Creepy Dentist Elephant of Doom


Now, you get the idea. They gave my littlest one a tooth brush and started showing her how to brush the elephant demon’s teeth. P wouldn’t go anywhere near it and burst in to tears. This is the little girl who went with me on the SLIDING CARS of Mickey’s Fun Wheel in California Adventure and laughed like it was the best thing that had ever happened to her while I screamed like my life was over.
Mickey's Fun Wheel My A$$....more like Mickey's Wheel of Terror

Mickey’s Fun Wheel? More like Mickey’s Wheel of Terror and Torture. Those cars are SLIDING back and forth, not in a fun way but in an OMG I’m going to die! way.
So anyway, now we’re back to picking a dentist. I’m still going off of referrals from friends, but I’m wondering…how did you find your kids dentist and are you happy with them?

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Sometimes I'm the mom I want to be, sometimes I'd like to be better. Every day I learn something new, "hack" this mom gig, so to speak. Just thought I'd share it, maybe help someone else along the way...